


I hate loving you

by LadyMerylin



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Bottom Louis, Enemies to Lovers, Hand Jobs, Hate to Love, Jealous Harry, Love/Hate, M/M, Mean Harry, Multi, Open to suggestions, Rich Harry, Sassy Louis, Sexual Content, Top Harry, party animal harry, possesive harry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-12
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-04-04 03:20:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 14,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4123851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyMerylin/pseuds/LadyMerylin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis is only in his first semester on Uni, but he already loves it . He was always exceptionally smart(or was he?) so studying is not an issue for him(reaally?) and living with his best mate Liam is making his life quite amazing. He loves to read his books and chat with his best friend without having to deal with all of other people s  drama. What he s not expecting is getting a new dorm neighbour who is loud, very cofident and loves to party. The new guy turns his quiet and peaceful life into utter chaos.<br/>But maybe, once blue meets green  and two different worlds collide...maybe,  they will instantly complete each other ...or maybe  …it wont be that easy, because two prides are in their way and two different pasts....and maybe there are also 2 masks that neither wil let go off that easily<br/>„It is not the broken heart that kills, but broken pride, monseigneur.“ </p><p>Gilbert Parker</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. And so it begins

**Author's Note:**

> Hi lovelies welcome to the ride!

_*Champagne showers! Champagne showers! Pop it in the club We light it up 80 hour_  
_I said!! *_

Louis woke up on the loud music almost getting a heart-attack "What in a bloody hell?!"

It was 3 a.m and the music was blasting from some crazy person s room  to his comfy bedroom. He instantly got up and went to the living room meeting his best friend Liam frowning at the door.

__*_ "We're gonna get you wet.  We're gonna make you sweat!  _*_ _

""I thinnk we have new neighbors" Liam states while still staring at the door. Louis just rolled his eyes. 

Yes, he knew they had new neighbours.  The last one never made any noise...Literally never...it was actually kinda like living across of a ghost room. The girl living there rarely left her room and never interacted with anyone, just stared at people. Louis complained a few times that she had a creepy aura, but he would rather have her back...No, he d rather live with a ghost family, than have to put up with this noise before such an important exam.

"You don t say?!" Louis said while going towards the door

"Where are you going?" 

"Trip to Aruba!" ..." I can see that you are going to have a staring contest with that door so while you have your fun I m going to greet our new neighbours"

"Oh no..."

"What?"

"Please, dont ... they are just new, you can talk to them when you cool down in the mo....."

_ *Put your hands up, e everybody just dance up   
We came to party rock, fl ash your titties like Mardi Gras* _

"Sorry, can t hear you ..."  Louis snapped and walked out before Liam had time to process .

Louis was furious. Yes, he was one of those types that hated to be woken up, and after a week of studying to get the best grade he really needed that sleep. That precious sweet long sleep. He didn t  bother to knock, knowing that even kicking out the door woudnt be heard by anyone. So he went straight in full sass speed...

And then he  crashed into somebody , he would fall on his bum if the stranger woudn t catch him.

"Hey , hey... slow down baby" the stranger said with deep raspy voice that sent shivers through Lou s body.

"...ehm sorry...just loking for the person who organized this" Louis said, still in the warm embrace of the guy. He was starting to look up when...

"well lucky you, you found the great organizer of this party "

That was the moment when Louis finally looked at the guy, the moment when their eyes met, the moment when the stranger smirked and the moment when Louis decided...

_He pisses me off...he pisses me off sooo much_

 

*A night you won't forget  
Are you ready for *

 


	2. Hot and Cold

 

How I imagine Harry in this story : <http://38.media.tumblr.com/97befc195e9b1005a579d4783dc76014/tumblr_inline_nirzfj8Ky51qi4yia.gif>

 Louis : <https://gs1.wac.edgecastcdn.net/8019B6/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_maeuidnaWx1rwt5rm.gif>

 

**♔♔♔Louis POV♔♔♔**

 

He was still touching me with his one hand on my shoulder, second hand on my hip. The grip on me firm, but not too tight. His emerald eyes scanning my body...

_What the... ! I mean, I get it ! I am HOT (I m not blind), but can t he take his hands off me ?...I dont what this wanker touching me and having weird fantasies about my body any longer! It seems if i leave it up to him he wont back off._

So I took a step back , freeing myself from his touch . Looking at him, while thinking whether to ask him if he lost his brain to party at this time in the morning or to just politely warn him this is unaccaptable.

If you ask me, I think a sassy remark is always the best way to go... but Liam would be mad if I d be rude to the new neighbours their 1st night here. I already could imagine him saying how it s normal to party once in a while and that they just wanted to celebrate their 1st night here...and blah blah something about be more nice..blah blah..something about dont put those  headphones on when I m talking to you!.... Annoying if you ask me. I love Liam, but sure ass hell not for him scolding me for disciplining people.

While thinking through my options, I saw how the guy s smile only widened, showing off his... _oh fuck me_ dimples. His eyes with an evil spark.

„So? Is this why you searched for me?“ he asked in a deep voice „to stare at me?“

_And wait ...what?_

„I mean I can t really blame you, but it would be less of a waste of my time if you just...You know, took a picture.“

_WHAT?_

„Or even a video. Whatever floats your boat. “

„WH..WHAT?! Why? Why the fuck would I want a video of you?“

„Oh ...“ „So only the picture “ he said starting to pose...

Yeah..I m not shitting you...I wish I was, but  literally ...to pose. He took a step back, leaned on the wall and gave me a polite smile waiting for me to take  a picture.

_And woow... Did I say he was pissing me off when i first laid my eyes on him? Well that was when he was just giving off that – I know I am perfect – vibe. But now...that he ...was posing? POSING. FOR. ME. TO . TAKE. HIS. PICTURE. Do you get it? Coz i sure don t. His head could be a planet of his own, that s how big it is. Hell, we should stop trying to fly to mars and just settle for his head._

_Argh, hate these kinda people...wait no...rewind. I really hope this is not a „kind of people“. Please God, let this be the only mistake of yours on this planet and..._

But my thoughts were interrupted, when the boy made a bored sound.

„Eeeeh....“ „So? Will you take the picture already or...“

„What the hell! I DO NOT WANT YOUR PICTURE! Why would i want it? I DO NOT!! “ I shouted and I swear I think I almost outshouted the annoying song .

 _*Cause, baby, now we got bad blood_  
_You know it used to be mad love*_

I saw him shift uncharastically awkwardly, that made it look almost as a bad acting,  when he started to talk again. 

_*Now we got problems, and I don't think we can solve them*_

„Well ...You look like you would want it to probably... to wank or... something“

_*.........*_

And that was it ... I felt my jaw dropping literally to the floor, my eyes wide...

The next thing that happened, he dragged me out of the door, into the hall  and he ...laughed . A loud, happy laugh.

„Well, Baby boo it was pure pleasure, but to answer what you failed to ask. NO, we wont be more quiet. Nobody complained, but you. There are about 25 people in there, having a great time, chilling after working hard. So just beacuse of YOUR needs princess, I won t send them home. “ he said, kissed my head and started to walked away.

„Oh and by the way...“ he stopped midway „Harry Edward Styles. Pleasure of meeting you princess! “ And he was gone .

The door closed.

The party ongoing .

My mind blank.

The only think I was able to realize was the boiling of my blood, the urge to just slap that cocky arrogant jerk s smile off his face. I was so out of it, that I did not realize how Liam was standing in our door looking at me, until he called out to me.

„That was something, Louis. Somebody was able to shut you up and even shock you... YOU!  “

I heard him chuckle and ...okay I am totally scratching Liam from the best friend position(for now).

„When you unfreeze, you are welcome to come back. Try to sleep...“ he said while smiling and closing the door.

I did not like this. I slowly started walking towards our door still feeling the boy s ...Harry s ...hands on my body... His presence, his voice engraved into my being...and no.

It did not make me weak in my knees...actually it made my blood boil. Still hearing the loud music, I entered our room and bang the door shut behind me.

 _*You made a really deep cut_  
_And, baby, now we got bad blood_  
_Hey*_

♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔♔

So the story is starting to progress. This is actually my first fanfiction, so I m kind of a noob - hopefully you liked it :)

Also all  next chapters will be  longer, but also you will have to probably wait for a while cause of my Uni exams.

To be honest, I actually didn t plan to write today at all(I studied all day), but **Oops_soulmates_Hi** motivated me, thanks sweety hope you enjoeyd :)


	3. Two sides of a same coin

 

**Harry s POV**

My alarm pulled me out of my short sleep. I groaned loudly silencing it and getting out of bed.

My room  was a mess...Walking out of it, I tried not to step on anything, which proved to be a difficult task.  Plates, cups, bottles...everything and everywhere. I really hated mess, but I knew that I had to get to my economy seminar on time. (even if it meant that this garbage may  attract a family of mutant rats that will destroy the world).

In the end i realy  wanted to study and shape my own future.

This surprised a lot of people usually...It shocked them that a person that actually HAS A LIFE also cares about school. I (dare I say) was pretty smart, I loved to study from an early childhood. I just also liked to have my fun. But people just tend to assume ... judge...and sometimes realize too late.

That s  when his thoughts wandered to the small brunette guy with big blue eyes. He could sense it when he spot him storming through the door...the boy  was one of them. One of those assholes that thought, that just because they had the best grades they were smarter and more valuable then others, that they were what society needed and everyone else was living of their hard work. Harry knew these kind of people...he actualy spent most of his life with them. Attending one of the most expensive private schools in the country, meant he was surrounded by almost only two types of people- the dicks that were spoiled brats, and the asses that felt they are worth much more then others just, because they read a few more books. He really coudn t decide wihich group he hated more....

But by living with them for years, he could easily recognize these types...So when the brunette walked into his room like he owned it, with anger written all over his small cute face Harry just knew... SO he thought why not to play a game and let the stragner bump into him and take it from there...And God how good it felt. He felt like finally standing up to those people that took away his childhood and replaced it by books, work and competition. He was so done with being pushed around just because he was not the winner of that stupid game of grades and posh looks.

Louis.

The name echoes in Harry s mind and involuntarly his thought went to the guy s round big bum...

Well yes, that s another thing. Harry was bi. And even if the guy was annoying as hell, Harry wasn t blind...And hell he really was happy he wasn t blind, because that ass....it was ... a sin-

*shatter*

That s when he heard his roomate slowly waking up from the other room .

„Fuck everything!“

And yes – breaking stuff and swearing is a Malik way of waking up.

Harry, never met anyone who would be in such a war with mornings. The behaviour of the attractive darker boy before 11 a.m was consisting of – breking something- swearing- glaring at nothing (which when Harry brought up that Zayn is glaring at nothing, the boy just glared harder saying it was the „atmosphere“ of the morning)-glaring at things for existing- glaring at people for being("I swear Harry he is doing it to make me mad!" "what ?" "he laid his eyes on me  and stayed like that for SECONDS!" "it s called... looking at people Zayn" "fuck then tell him to stop or i will personally make him!").

So watching Zayn slowly walk out of his room murmuring something like „the sun is trying to kill me“ was just so „traditional“ for Harry that he coudn t not smile on his annoyed best friend. Zayn was his only real friend from that horrible school, and Harry would gladly spend there another 4 years just to meet Zayn.

„I dont get you“  said the boy with a tired voice „how can you smile? It s bloody 7:00 we slept for like 1-2 hours and you...you look ...alive“ he said in a tone that made it look like whatever Harry was doing was a miracle. „You just stand there, smile, breath, live...annoy me“

„Yeah, good point I have to get movin...actually WE have to . Put your clothes on! . “

„Argh“ was the only response he got, but Zayn was moving towards some clothes so....win?

Harry also started to search for some sexy clothes to put on, he was really excited for his economy class and he knew that Zayn would be excited for his design class if ...well you probably get it by now how the Malik boy is in the mornings.

Harry was studying here with Zayn just as long as the others – two months , but they had some difficulties getting a dorm room for  quite a while and ...Harry woudld be doomed if he was letting his college experience be ruined by anyone.

 

 

**Louis Pov**

** **

Louis was proud, he did not sleep for a second, but still managed to pass the test with flying colors.

He was holding up his test results proudly, fondly smiling at them.

„I told you , you would nail it!  Nobody knows that stuff like you do! It shows you love it!“ Liam exclaimed and Louis nodded while blushing a little.

The blush was eminent for anyone wathing from when Liam stood, but not from behind.

Chatting with Liam he didn t realize the familiar tall figure standing few steps behind him, slowly approaching.

„Oh, it must be such an extraordinary thing! The nerd having an A! Beware a flying pigs might be seen anytime!“

„What the fuck is your problem?“ Louis yelled and yes he really coudnt  stand this guy. Who was he to just take away his sleep adn then laugh at him for ..for what? Being good at something? "We are no friends..you can t just walk here and..."

Harry just smirked and took away the shorter lad s test. Louis had no time to react when the „dick“(as Louis started to adress him in his mind) started to read it.

„Let s see the predicted, surprising one hundr...“

Harry stopped.

Louis didn know why, but he took the opportunity to actually take away something that belonged to the boy. He grabbed what he could, because his own test was still up in the air held by the giant.

Tha paper Louis grabbed was a actually very clean, nice writing and...

_38/40 pt  economy_

Louis just stared at the paper ...his stare slowly turning into a full blown glare.

He didnt realize how Harry was now frowning at his test, nor as Liam was watching them as some rare species witch curious eyes.

The only thing on his mind...

_Dick STUDIES? He is smart? And he writes so neatly, I dont get this shit, but it seems he was really prepared well...he could have cheated, but surely doesn t look like he was. I would be able to tell...would I tho? Economy..sounds hard..._

He had no idea that the other guy was just as shocked as him looking at a test from „History of DRAMA -100%“ . He coudn t know that the curly-haired guy was utterly confused why would any typical „too smart for this planet“ take on drama and not law or medicine..fuck even economy made a lot more sense...but drama.

But they both shook it off and with an annoyed eye-roll from Louis and  agressive smirk from Harry (and confused look from Liam-lets not forget the poor lad) went their own ways .

But they both already started to realize against their own will...

Both thinking the exact same as walking away

_He is a weird one_

_But_

_I still don t  like him_

Louis stopping when his iphone started ringing

_*Does it ever drive you crazy  
Just how fast the night changes*_

"Hi , mom !"

"Yeah! I actually...yes I got 100% !!"

"Yes, I m  happy too"

"Yes, I m trying my hardest...love you too"

Liam watching his best friend fondly, he was really proud of him.

Really proud of how Louis has changed.


	4. Chapter 4

 

**LOUIS**

 

Louis was sitting in his chair waiting for his class re-reading the play Tempest when he heard a high-pitched laugh.

His eyes drifted to the person who made that annoying sound and he could only roll his eyes when he found out it was Taylor... Slut.

The only way he ever described her to anyone . Why? He coudn t help it, but to think that. The everyday flirting with any guy who would look at her, the mini-skirt the boobs ready to pop out anytime...And she also loved to make a lot of drama about it. Everyone HAD to know who she was with and how great or horrible it was. Well, okay. Louis was also a drama student, but he liked to seperate his "professional" and personal life . She did not. She made her life a dramatic, romatic Tv show, that everyone had to watch . With her it was like being stuck in the cinema on the worst movie ever.

She had her group of friends

\- Eleanor- the beauty queen, that all guys wanted, but she just wasn t ever interested. She wasn t so bad in Louis book, but her cockyness was something he did not appreciate. She liked to make guys fall for her and then act all innocent she –"didn t mean it that way".

-Janelle- simply put it- the dumb follower

-And Perrie- the bad girl, she didnt really give much crap about all of the Taylor – El drama , but she still hung out with them, coz they were childhood friends.

Louis made a disgusted sound when he realized how Taylor was playing with her hair and licking her lips, while her other hand on the guy s shoulder.

This time Taylor however seemed somehow even more desperate for it. Louis drifted his eyes to the guy whose fault was, that Taylor just now officially looked like she might just undress any minute.

And well...

Harry fucking Styles.

Of course he would be the hot male lead character in the new episode of Taylor s love life...

He was standing there letting Taylor whisper something to his ear while smirking a little.

She was still touching his shoulder and it seemed he liked it.

_What the heck is he even doing here... From that test it s easy to say he s studying Economy..unless I missed something no future businessman needs to attend the class for classical literature._

But then Harry and Taylor slowly moved to find a place to sit down and that was when Louis realized it.

Nobody sits next to him.

Two chairs were totally not occupied.

He used to sit with Aiden and Danielle- his drama friends, but they both were sick .

_Louis panicked. I can t let the douche duo sit next to me , i d not survive!_

So before he could think twice about it ...he just moved to the next seat, which made it that now there was one free seat on his left and on his right.

„We wanted to sit here!“ he heard a too sweet  girly voice that made him catch diabetes on the spot.

Louis just looked at her trying to ingore the curly lad standing behind her with a full on smirk .

„Sorry, I actually that from here I can better ehm.... view... I m sure you can find some other seats“ Taylor wasn t really delighted to hear that response, but it seemed she already spotted other free seats so she just frowned

„Whatever“

But that s when it happened -Harry took her hand and looked deeply in her eyes and Louis knew something was wrong.

„My dear, you should go sit with your girls there...“ he pointed to some place where Louis really didn t bother to look.

Louis actually didn t look anywhere, now he was just madly staring at his book .

„..I would hate to steal you from them, you know how rumors work“

Y _eah coz flirting the whole time wont start the rumor but sitting with someone will...= Styles logic_  .

Louis thought while fighting the urge to roll his eyes.

„I ll just sit here, at least this way we both will be able to concentrate better, **if you know what i mean** “

And okay...Louis would probably puke from that line if he woudn t be frozen in his seat.

Taylor seemed to eat it all up and she gave him a big smile and went on her way.

Louis was still staring at his book, when he felt a body sit next to him .

„Hi, LouLou “

...

„Silent treatment? I thought we had something special"

...

„No need to be shy now. I mean you even moved seats, just to seperate me from her. I take it as a sign of your undying love for me ..which ..is understandable“ Harry said with a faked innocent smile and Louis just coudn t take it anymore.

He looked up...to see that Harry s face was inches from his . He felt his heartbeat fasten. Breathing was suddenly so hard . He wanted to yell at Harry. But the piercing green was locked on his blue eyes and Louis coudn t look away. Louis slowly let out a breath while trying to compose himself .

„You are just another cocky jerk, in my eyes...nothing special about you “ with that he looked away...so he wasn t able to see the hurt and anger in Harry s eyes before he controlled them back into a flirty gaze.

„Yes, babe ...keep telling that to yourself. I m sure, you know better then to hook up with some random cocky jerk, right? “ Harry said and Louis was almost shoked by that statement ...well till the moment Harry s hand was on his thigh.

Louis wanted to shove him away, but he realized the professor just came into the room and shoving Harry away would be sadly very visible from the spot where the teacher stood.

„Stop it!“ Louis hissed  and tried to place his leg somewhere else.

„Dont tell me you are getting worked up babe...I m just a random jerk... “ his hand went again higher slowly getting to Lou s crotch

„I... told you to... S...“ Louis tried to get those words out, when Harry s hand reached his crotch and the curly guy started to slip his hand under Louises jeans.

„What s  up babe? I coudnt hear you? “ Harry whispered Louis just tried to focus on resisting, but hell...those hand were so silky and strong and... Louis really hated it, but he didn t get laid for faaar to long.

And shit, Harry might have a lot of traits that Louis despises, but his looks are for sure not one of them. So now Harry was palming him thought his jeans and Louis tried not to moan. He was biting his lips not to give Harry a satisfaction of moaning out loud when suddenly Harry s hand started to work faster and Louis coudn t help it when a silent moan left his mouth.

Silent, not silent enough.

Harry had a satisfied smirk when he finished Louis and slowly leaned in to whisper to Louises ear

„I wonder what does this make YOU?“

And Louis just looked at the curly lad with a very confused look.

„What?“

„You letting a cocky jerk make you cum in your pants in the middle of the class while moaning like a slut. Not a very- good&responsible student style, is it? “ with that Harry focused on the professor leaving Louis flabbergasted.

He didnt  see the guilt on Louis face...

The guilt that only those show , that already made a mistake and catch themselves reapeting the same mistake all over again.

Louis felt suddenly really hot and cold inside.

His mind racing, memories haunting him...

Harry didn t know how hard those word hit Louis.

_I know I m not who I want to be...who I need to be ..._

_I m not very smart, nor very responsible or dependable,  but even so ... I need to be._

_I need to try harder..._

_A lot harder._

_This cannot be me ._

_Not now and not ever again._

 


	5. Harry

Sorry loves for being this late on update , I was travelling a lot!  
Hopefully you ll enjoy!  
All the love & all the sun!

ZAYN POV

Harry felt like utter shit.

„So you gave a person you hate a handjob, correct?“ Zayn asked while laying in his bedroom looking at distraught Harry sitting on the edge of his bed with big eyes.

„That s not a point!!“

„I reallly think , that actually is the point of ...“

„NO! “ Harry interrupted him furrowing his eyebrows.

"NO?" Zayn rolled his eyes.

„No. " „I was never a wild child! I never had any puberty I guess it s just kicking in late...“

„I really think that s not...“

„Or I was just bored, too excited? Maybe sleepy? Or...“

„Harry are you even ...?“

„The point is I did it DURING CLASS!“

And Zayn just sighs. It s not like he doesn t know Harry. He knew where this was going...but don t misunderstand knowing the outcome while not being able to stop it is just so much more tiring .

„It s like I had no sense of responsibiliy! What if the professor would find out? “

„You really think it s a normal urge for you to give a handjob to a person you...“

„...Geez and what if ...what if I missed some valuable information? The test is in few weeks and ...“

Zayn just gives up at that point . Felling warm around his heart coz yeah, his is his real best mate.

„Harry, you are right it s puberty. It s part of it ...the irresponsibility part“

„Oh...but I need to be responsible. I am trying to LIVE more , but I dont want to ruin my future...I don t get what was going on...“

And okay that s Zayns opportunity.

„Yeah, you puberty might have a trigger“

It seems this approach is working coz Harry finally shut his mouth and with poqued interest he stares at Zayn.

„A trigger? What would that be?“

„I m sure you ll find out , now go I want to sleep“

and Harry slowly stands up a little unsure.

„So a trigger“

„Yup, now leave my room you genius...“

And he watches Harry leave , thinking hard.

„Too smart people... great in one field, terrible in the other “ he whispered to himself with a smile.

Zayn always knew Harry the best.

Harry was the guy who liked to lock himslef up with books and study whatever, whenever.

He was easily one of the smartest on the whole private school. Not because he wanted to be smart, but beacuse he enjoyed learning new stuff.

And while Harry spent most of his life with books & Zayn, he didn t learn much about social interaction, emotions, lies...

So it hit Harry hard when he realized how many people were with him in school only to copy his homework.

How many people were trying to take advantage of him.

How many people hated him for being smarter then them.

How many people were fake to him.

 

That he had no real friend, but Zayn.

When he found in the last year of his High School, Harry was never the same again.

He refused to continue the life he led before , that put him into that mess. 

But he also coudnt totally lose his love for knowledge. So this was his new Harry.

The Harry that had locked himslef up for weeks w Zayn to learn all about being social, all about being wild, all about everything that could prevent him from falling for the same lies or becoming the one who spreads them.

And even tho Zayn went on numerous parties with Harry and explained everything Harry ever asked...He could see that something was wrong.

 When Zayn was teaching Harry he genuienly believed that Harry just wanted to know the real life a little more.

He just wanted to be more average, more loose, more fun.

Start anew.

It was too late when he realized...

Harry didn t want to party- he wanted to look like a party person.

Harry didn t want to have sex with random people- he wanted to look like that guy.

He just wanted to look like an average party boy .

 He wanted no one to see him for who he is.

If nobody knows who you are, they don t know your weak spots.

Which meant - no one knew Harry.

They saw him as what he wanted them to see.

No one except for Zayn saw who Harry was.

And at the beginning even Zayn didn t .

Coz at first he saw a friend who was betrayed, lied to, who was miserable ...a friend who wanted to start anew. Try out parties, girls, boys..to maybe form a bond. To not be alone...to love & be loved

The truth was..Harry was not that boy.

The true Harry did not trust people and in no way did he want to bond with them.

He was not able to love them.

And that killed Zayn inside.

Coz his little friend who loved books & loved to talk to people about books and was just so spontaneous when he liked sb was buried deep within Harry.

Because Harry to protect himself from the people with masks , put on his own. 

So it made Zayn too happy that finally something, not entirely controlled by Harry s brain, happaned.

Something spontaneous.

 

And Zayn really hopes, that this will start to make scratches on the mask...

Otherwise he s afraid Harry might never take his mask down willingly.

And Zayn knows... **that  if someone wears their mask too long, they might forget who did they hide behind it.**


	6. No more mistakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I m soo sorry that I didn t post for such a long time, but with my semester starting it was crazyyy...I m gonna try and post more since I now have a lot more free time for a whole month :)  
> Hopefully there are some people who wanted this to be updated, so this is for you :)

LOUIS POV

Louis was locked in the bathroom trying to put himself back together. Breathing heavily, willing himself to stop crying and put on a smile before Liam will find him this way.

No Liam did not deserve to come home after his long day studying things Louis could never dream of understanding, finding his best friend broken down. No, Liam was trying to become a lawyer and he did not need another complication in his life. So Louis was really trying to forget it ...to forget the incident with ...Styles.

Even the name made Louis nauseas. He felt the guy’s hands on himself...and the worst thing… They felt good. They felt sooo good, while feeling so wrong. It wasn’t t only that Louis wasn’t touched for quite a while by another man, but that feeling. That familiar feeling of cheapness. It felt so familiar...it had the taste of sweet misery that Louis was addicted to for too long.

 

He hated to feel like that, but it was what he was used to...and sometimes people choose comfort before happiness.

 

But he couldn’t, not anymore … so he stood up and washed away his tears.

_Okay Louis, now stop the self-pity party and go study._

He slowly took out his books and started to read them. He knew that most of his classmates probably went to have a party or just chilled coz there really was no real exam coming, but Louis couldn’t slack...nor in any shape or form could he allow himslef to party...So he studied.

It was about an hour later when Liam came home.

„Uuuurgh. Louis tell me please again, why did I not choose to be rather working in McDonald? “

„Bad day? “ Louis asked looking at his friend who just let himself fall down on the couch.

„Bad? BAD?!" Liam started to rant.

„I don t even...You’d think that Romans more than 2000 years ago wouldn’t hate me...they do...they hate me with a passion Lou. You know I was really hating on that subject until I met Civil law...and Procedure law and...why the heck did I choose Tax Law?...“

„Hey, heeey! “ Louis sat down near his friend and took him into a hug

„Do you know why you chose this? “

„Yes” said Liam with a frown „I lost my mind“ Louis started to laugh, but soon stopped and continued

„No, because you like people. You want to help them, but you are too scared of blood and death. You my friend chose this coz you are smart enough to make it. You Liam are on this school coz you can. “ Liam started to smile when Louis added fast

„And ofc coz I’m going to be poor as a drama major and you will need to support me “ Liam hugged him back and Louis knew he was better now.

„Thanks Louis“

So Louis went to stand up when Liam pulled him back on his lap.

„And now my dear friend my turn“

„What are you talking about? “ Louis knew his voice was too high-pitched, but chose to ignore it.

„Louuu...come oon. We’ve been friends forever“

„I don t know what you are on about“

„You just called me smart and now you are trying to tell me that your wrecked voice and tired eyes combined with you being kind of too soft is nothing?“

And okay Louis knew the more he’d downplay it the worse it would become so he just gave up

„It’s nothing big“

„Then tell me“

„That Styles guy...he...well“

Liam was looking at him with all care in the world and Louis felt like he really couldn’t t lie.

Not to Liam.

Not ever again.

So he just went for it.

„He gave me a handjob during the class...I didn’t dislike it, but I disliked that he kind of insinuated I m a slut for cumming. “

Louis saw how Liam s eyes went wide and after 3 seconds of deadly silence Liam almost yelled

„What the heck? I! I’m gonna ...I’m going to talk to that guy! “

And of course sweet sweet Liam ...would talk to solve this. McDonald? Never, a born lawyer this one.

„No need for that really Li. I mean I overreacted. I called him a jerk and he called me a slut. Done. “

„But Lou...“

„No, no buts. I had a nice handjob and I cried about it? What is wrong with me? I had my fun, but it’s time to study“

And really ...He’d be lying if he said he didn’t like it. He didn’t even attempt to stop Harry and he was sexually frustrated for a long time. Yes he’d probably prefer somebody who wouldn’t be a total jackass, but hey it is what it is.

And Liam just watched him with fond eyes and hugged Louis.

„I’m so proud of you Lou, but it is okay to feel...it is okay to have fun..I don t mean with that indecent individual, but if you d meet somebody and...“

„Shh, not interested, gonna study now “

He heard Liam make a sound out of frustration. But Louis didn’t t care.

He knew Liam probably wanted him to loosen up.

And hell he’d like to have one night without a book in his hands, but couldn’t t.

He was not going to risk it all. Couple drinks here, couple drinks there and who knew what could Louis do...as much as Louis knew himself..he d probabyl make some mistake. And to prevent that he knew he’d have to stay away from that annoying green eyes freak.  Something about him made him want to lose control, to forget just for a minute...That made him hate that guy even more.

He had already too many drunken nights, too many wild nights, too many times he let himself be used in exchange for a moment of not feeling empty...

He was not that guy anymore...

he hated that guy ...

despised him ...

The guy that caused pain to everyone that mattered, the guy who lost so much trust that Louis knew he was going to work on getting it back probably his whole life.

But that guy was gone...And no one was going to bring him back to ruin everything once again.

With that Louis started to study and refused to think about those green eyes that made his blood boil... 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos or comments would make my day :3 thanks a lot for reading, hopefully you enjoyed :)


	7. A little fun never killed nobody

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is it hot in here?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I m back with more :) Enjoy!  
> I m interested in your guys feedback so feel free to leave a comment :)  
> Have a lovely day! ❥

 

**Louis POV ❥ ❣**

** **

Louis really considered committing a crime when he heard at 2 a.m. blasting music from...where else then his lovely neighbour.

He was spending his whole day trying to calm down, study, forget the cocky bastard...but with a song New americano loud enough he could sing along he really was done.

He stormed out of his room to run into Liam and oh... NO

„No Liam I am not going to play nice anymore...this is it ...he is ...that s attempted murder!“

„Louis calm down! Don’t be dramatic! I know you are worked up, but come on you remember how it ended up last time? And it is Friday there is really no reason to, not to mention you are in...“

But Louis wasn’t listening...he already tried to play nice, he’s done.

So he ran out of the room to barge into his neighbour s place...it was surprisingly open and...

Well empty?

Unless he just barged into a ghost party, which...well he wasn’t really prepared how to argue with ghosts, but he was not backing down now.

 

 „What the heck? “He yelled for himself

 „Well shouldn’t I be screaming considering you just barged into my place? “

And that voice... Louis didn’t need to look at the man to know who it was. He knew this voice already too well for his liking.

„You are disturbing my sleep“ he replied annoyed, not the least interested in a small chat. He wanted this madhouse to stop.

„I’m just standing here. How is that disturbing? “ Look of mischief in his eyes making his green eyes shine so much more.

„You know what I mean! “he snapped. 

„Oh...“  he gasped „You mean you cannot fall asleep coz I worked you up too much the last time?“ and the smirk was back.

„Sadly Louuu, don’t think I can help with that. That’s just my effect...kinda out of my control. “His voice dangerously low, his eyes glued on his body which...no of course it didn’t do things to him.

And okay....maybe he could actually get away with a murder?  There are some people out there for sure...but

 „The jail time is not worth it“ he heard himself whisper and oops? That wasn’t meant to be spoken out loud.

„Oh so you really came here to actually commit a crime. “

„Stop it! You are making me mad! No, I came here coz you are being once again an inconsiderate ass! Your music is too loud! “

And the curly haired boy made a few steps so he closed a gap between them.

And for the first time Louis saw his muscular body up close. Harry was in a black bathrobe, but underneath...nothing but boxers. The robe was open making it hard for Louis to stop staring at the abs in front of him.

„Oh my music? “he whispered and suddenly he was too close for comfort so Louis made a step back.

That was when he realized there was really not much space behind him, just a wall.

 _No way I_ ’ _m going to get flustered by him...I came here to make him back down and I’m not leaving until then._

„Yes your music you genius! “but his voice came out a little too out of breath

_Dammit Louis! Keep yourself together._

And Harry made the last step so now he was literally few centimetres from his face.

„Oh my, don’t you like the song? “

„That is not the point! “He tried to yell, but he felt green eyes bore into his blue ones.

_And fuck. This is so hot._

Harry tilted his head and whispered to his ear „Then tell me ...what the point is? You standing at 2a.m at my room in nothing but your panamas that really...don’t hide too much. “

_What the...Oh_

That was when he realized he had just some boxers and a T-shirt on...

_Oh my God_

He knew he was blushing, if the hotness in his face wouldn’t be enough of a sign Harry s smug look would tell him.

„Errm...I  ...I didn’t realize I...“

_Stop stuttering...!_

„Really? “ And Harry s hand came up to his shoulders and his lips were almost touching his ear.

Louis felt a pleasant shiver he tried to surpass, but he felt the guy everywhere. His big hands on his shoulders, his lips on his ear, his muscular big strong body against his...and trust him he’d love to push the guy away...he’d love to ...if his body would let him...

But he couldn’t make his limbs move, his voice to come out...his brain in some haze.

„But I don’t mind Louu...“

_And God that raspy voice. I wonder if it gets raspier in the morning after a good..._

He felt Harry s hand to travel down to his back and slowly lower...

„So tell me Louu, why are you here? “

His hands roughly squeezing his bum making him moan quietly, while he felt lips on his neck, Harry hotly whispering into them.

„Tell me more Lou, moan for me more...“

And he did, he did moan when Harry started to suck on his neck and create love bites all over it.

 

„Jesus Christ SORRY! “ someone yelled.

Louis didn’t know that voice and when he looked at the guy that was now covering his eyes he saw a very good-looking slightly tanned guy with jaw made by Gods.

He felt Harry step away from him and well ...this was awkward.

„Well I  ...I’m going... just turn down the music...! “ Louis stuttered out and really?

 _Since when do I stutter? This was nothing ... some chemistry...I don_ ’ _t even know the guy...don_ ’ _t even want to know the guy!_

„Oh no you don’t have to, I really just ended my painting and wanted to eat some night snack I didn’t realize...“

Wow and okay Harry seemed to have friends that were better people then him coz this handsome guy was really being nice to Louis.

„It’s okay Zayn he was already on his way, weren’t you Louis?“

Zayn looked at him with wide eyes, shock mixed with apology

_Yup. 100% this Zayn guy is a nicer person. Even though he is properly shocked for some reason...as if Harry wouldn’t be hooking up with someone else every night. Yeah...for suuuure._

Louis just rolled his eyes and started to walk towards the door.

„If you _wouldn’t_ pin me to the wall I’d be already long gone, believe me Styles! “

„Keep telling yourself that! “

And he closed the door.

No he wasn’t even going to think about what happened. Nope, done. He is going to sleep and in the morning this all will be just a weird dream.

 

 

**Harry POV ❥ ❣**

 

After the door closed he felt his friend s eyes bore into him

„Sooo that s Louis? “

„Yes our neighbour, thought you’ve seen him already. “

„Not really“

And okay Harry didn’t particularly like the way Zayn was smiling at him. But he was not going to talk about it. Not now, not ever. He always wanted to live a little more....He was doing just that.

Nothing more.

Yes this was just what they call it? …a hook-up.

Yup. Hook-up.

Late puberty.

Nothing more. Just fun.

Nothing to do with that feeling in his stomach that he got when for the first time he looked into those ocean blue eyes full of life. 

Eyes that are haunting him since that moment.

 

 

 

 


	8. Sleepy sleepy..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You don't love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear." - Oscar Wilde

**Harry POV**

Kissing, slightly biting on those rosy lips that tasted so sweet. Harry wanted to taste more, so he let his tongue explore the mouth of the smaller lad while letting his hands roam freely. It was addicting. He couldn’t stop touching more of Louis, tasting more of Louis, having more of Louis.  His hands ended up on their bulges and he started working them.

„Ahh Harry... “ Louis moaned as he felt Harry s hand on his dick.

„Yeah baby let me hear you...you moan so loud for me“

He sees the boy flush and he feels even hotter all over his body.

„Can you cum for me babe?“ he says breathing hard, his voice hoarse.

„yeah ...Harry ....for you“ Louis let out a whimper and Harry started to work them faster.

„only for me . Mine“ he growled when he felt reaching his climax and ... „I despise you!“

Harry felt something soft land on his back and then he...opened his eyes.

„Shit“ he whispered trying to understand where he is and what is going on while Zayn probably found appropriate to throw at him another pillow.

„Man , I m never ever leaving my door open! “

„What?“ harry asked still disoriented realizing he is still rock hard under the sheets...and ow...that hurt. While trying to concentrate another object hit him, this time ... a remote?

„Geez Zayn stop!“

„I should stop? Me?  You are here having a private porno making in the morning while I was trying to sleep! “ Zayn says, he doesn’t yeell not really. But he does speak louder and more aggressive then he usually does so Harry knows he made him mad.  „I m here dreaming about innocent unicorns and rainbows...“

„Erm ...“ Harry interrupts, but Zayn picks up a book and the curly guy really isn’t interested in another thing hitting him early in the morning so he shuts his mouth.

„Like I said I m dreaming about unicorns and rainbows...“ Zayn says slowly while lifting his brow in a challenging manner „and out of nowhere my unicorns starts saying – you taste so good! Baby let me hear you !! “ Zayn shudders at the memory . Harry feels his cheeks redden, but he doesn’t interrupt...his friends still didn’t put down the book.

„Of course I wake up from  that nightmare just to hear a really lot of noises from your room...I m confused coz I knew you had nobody there. I go to the living room and form there I see you half naked having a wet dream...I don t want anymore of those noises so I decide to wake you up...and while I come near you and reach to wake you up...“

and Zayn stops and he looks like he is retelling a traumatic story „ and you moan out - Can you cum for me babe?“

Then the green eyed boy looks at the scarred face of his friend and starts laughing. Zayn tho isn t as amused and comes closer and hits him with the book.

„Owww that wasn’t pleasant“ he whines

„Oh sorry“ and Zayn hits him again.

„What?! Come oon my hand hurts“

„I hope it falls off!  I m gonna sleep now! If you wake me up like this again, I swear I m gonna have sex next time with Perrie right in front of you! “ and with that he left the room .

Harry felt his hand a little, but he was really amused ..till he realized...he dreamed all that about

_Louis?_

„FUCK!“ he swore

„Styles I swear I just left your room!“

„Sorryyyy?“

He didn t get a response, but he was really surprised he was still alive, he woke up Zayn during weekend, at... his eyes widened looking at the clock- _7:05?_

_Miracles happen. I m alive to tell the tale._

_But Louis ? really all this about Louis? It s not like he s not hot... he s actually reaally hot. His ass it to kill for, and those legs...I wonder if he moans like that in real life too_

This thinking really wasn’t helping to his big (pun intended) problem he still didn’t take care of. He considered wanking for about 2 seconds before he decided he s not gonna risk his life this early in the morning. Also he wasn’t particularly interested in what Perrie and Zayn having sex look like. They were never properly together, but they were for quite a while friends with some benefits. Harr was kinda jealous. It s not that he didn’t have action, but he never had action he would want to repeat.

In his last year of high school he did party quite a lot and tried out few girls and guys. But he never fully enjoyed it. He coudn t imagine making himself hook up with those people again. They were not bad people, but he still didn’t feel anything more than some kind of twisted responsibility to loosen up. And loosening up once with one person should be enough right?

So it would be probably nice to want a person constantly, trust them enough to let them see more than just the boxing... like Perrie and Zayn have it.

He slowly stood up, deciding he should just take a cold shower.

„OWW!“ he tripped and fell...

He felt his leg hurting when the door opened.

„How the hell did you fell?“ and Zayn wasn yelling...nooope... he was almost whispering...the whisper of Zayn..something like a kiss from a dementor....

„Tripped?“ Harry whispered trying to put on his most innocent face.

„On?“

Harry looked around him...and well...

„Who knows?“ he questioned.

„Out...“ his friend whispered

„But ...Zaaaayn..I m sorry okay?“

But Zayn was already heading towards his bedroom

„If you are in this apartment after 60 seconds.... i m starting a fire...I don t care anymore....I decline to live in such a cruel world “ he whispered closing the door after him.

_Aaaand that s my cue to leave_

Harry just put on his robe coz he really wasn t going to burn alive this young and went out.

_Greaaat now what? Only with my robe and boxers on, still slightly hard- homeless. Could be a name of a good book._

Before he realized fully what he was doing he was already before those doors and knocked on them.

_Argh whatever, not like I can just wander around like this…and he is my closest neighbour. Plus he s gonna me soo annoyed when he sees me here. His cheeks will go adorable red and he ll scrunch his nose..._

But Louis didn t open. Not did Liam.

„Ermm? You are?“ the brown-haired, brown-eyes slightly unshaved guys asked with his brows so high he probably lost them forever in those hair.

And something about this guy made Harry annoyed.

„Harry, you are? “

But before the guy could answer him he heard a little too high voice from somewhere „Aaaiden, what are you doing there! If somebody is at the door let them in or throw them out, I dont have all day! “

This guy, apparently Aiden then opened the door. And Harry coudn t wait to not see his face.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully you enjoyed, comments are very appreciated :)  
> Thanks for all the kudos, love yall for having patience with my chaotic updates :D


	9. I want to do the right thing, I wish I would know what it is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope yall have a beautiful weekend!

 

 

**Harry POV**

 

Harry wasn’t even bothering saying anything to this “Aiden” guy ( _sounds like a douche if you ask Harry…_ ), he went inside while rolling his eyes. He looked at this guy for about 5 seconds, but he felt he had his dose for life.

The first thing he saw when he entered the living room was that it was kinda messily organized…You could see that somebody was really trying to keep this room clean and that somebody else wasn t. When he finally took in his surroundings his eyes landed on a small body …Louis.

 Louis...sprawled out on the couch eating junk food while watching telly.

_It was hard to imagine Aiden into this picture. Was he near that table in the corner? Was he sitting on the floor? Was he on the toilet?_

Harry s brain was in overload when finally Louis looked up and yup..the adorable annoyed look was ON.

„What do you think you are doing here?“ he almost yelled while changing his position to sitting very fast.

„Zayn kicked me out“ Harry said while smirking. That s when Aiden slowly approached the living room

_And gosh, could he be more annoying? Can t he just go away?_

„I see you have a butler here, fancy“ Harry says while pointing at Aiden who just frown mildly.

„He is a friend Harry! Unlike you! So I don’t see any reason why you are here!“

That s when Aiden sits next to Louis...a little too close... and nope ..this was not the picture he wanted to have in his mind...He d prefer the picture of Aiden in the toilet...preferably crying while having some really severe gastrointestial distress.

„I think you should leave if you are not his friend. Sorry LouLou I shouldn t just let him on.“ Aiden voices and stands up guiding Harry to the door, and  before he  gets so say or do anything, even realize the slightly surprised look on Louis’ face...He s out of the apartment .

He is standing out in the cold still trying to process why the name „LOU LOU“ sounded so wrong from Aiden s lips.

 

**LOUIS POV**

Louis heard a loud bang when Aiden closed the door. He was still in shock from what happened. Scratch that. He still wasn t over the first meeting with Harry, everything from that moment on was a pure mess.

Aiden, sweet innocent Aiden that loved everyone, acting jealous. Yes, Louis knew and didn’t really know how to act about it. His friend was always so kind to Louis, from the very first day when they had class together and Louis was afraid of everything. Their friendship was maybe short, but he really liked this new type of friend. He never really had anyone so nice, caring and smart in his close group of people except for Liam. It was not an option to let him go, but Louis wasn’t sure whether he could make it work with Aiden.

„Really sorry for this I had no idea who he was, if I knew he had no business in here I d never let him in.” Aiden said while sitting next to him.

„It s fine, you coudn t have known”

„ So ? who was he?” Aiden asked gently.

And okay Louis didn’t like this conversation. 

Who was Harry?

_A big jerk that literally jerked me off and we had a make out session, but I cannot stand him…_

There was no way he could tell this to Aiden, not only would he be jealous, but what would he think of him?

_„You letting a cocky jerk make you cum in your pants in the middle of the class while moaning like a slut. Not a very- good &responsible student style, is it?“_

_Like a slut._

_A slut._

_But really...what am I doing? Aiden is such a nice caring guy, and I...I didnt  change at all...If Aiden knew...he d be so disappointed. Yes, if he knew what was Louis like deep down inside , he d be rightfully disgusted._

„hey?! LouLou? You okay?“ the brown eyed boy was looking at him concerned while putting his hand carfully on his forehead.

„Just gotta check your temperature you seem a bit pale .“

_So caring, gentle, ..._

„Okay seems that you are fine. But if you feel anything wrong, just tell me. “

_Nice..._

„Oh, and you dont have to tell me about ...the guys. I m just looking out for you.“

_Understading, protective ..._

_It s the right thing to do...I wanted to be good...so_

„Do you want to be my boyfriend?“ Louis hear his voice come out calme and collected. No nerves nor passion behind it...so calm.

He saw how Aiden s eyes widened and his cheeks reddened, how his worried face changed into the one of bliss. He heard the „Of course LouLou!“ and „You have no idea ...I ve liked you for so long“ Saw his friend slowly leaning in to connect their lips. Felt the gentle lips on him ...and it felt ...

...okay.

But somehow that okay feeling made him feel even more alone than ever before.

So he just closed his eyes and kissed back. 

_This was the right thing to do...Right?_

 

 

 

_“It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.”  
― André Gide_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yup, this happened :o   
> It s official Aiden and Louis took my fanficion official couple V -card...who would have thought?


	10. Don t be fake, you ll forget what is real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess, who s back? back again !

ZAYN POV ❣

Zayn was painting a picture when he heard a loud bang of the door being closed. 

He saw his roommate go straight to the kitchen and take out a beer with a face of a murderer.  
„Well I see it s another great day for you... it s been 5 days since you coming home didn t make me wanna reach for something to protect myself “ he said while worriedly looking at his friend.  
Harry didn t look good.

Zayn wasn t blind nor stupid. He knew that this all had to do sth with Louis. The last time, which also was the fisrt time Harry went to the neighbours ended up pretty badly. Harry talked about some douchy Aiden guy that was a „worst person he ever met“ and since then he was very snappy. What didn t help was that now even Zayn knew who this Aiden guy was, coz he was basically everyday knocking at the opposite door and hell...he did seem to be close to Louis.  
Honestly speaking Zayn didn t find this Aiden guy bad...but yeah he d never say something like that out loud in front of Harry.  
„I mean does he even has his own room?“ he heard Harry as he came in the main room.  
„Everyday! FUCKING everyday! What is he homeless? And Louis ..so typical..he complained everytime we had a party, but he can have visitors every day can t he?! So annoying!!“  
„Harry...“ Zayn started gently trying to calm his friend down „I m pretty sure having a guest and having a party is a bit different ...“  
„Wow...so you think it s okay for Louis to have everyday a guy over?!!! “

And well Zayn really didn t know how to answer such a vividly crazy question. It was easy to see Harry was jealous, but even easier to see he didnt know it...

And Zayn tried, he really tried to make Harry understand and name the feelings he was feeling...but Harry was having non of it and any reasonable converstiaon just ended up in him leaving the room calling Zayn crazy.

_I need to change my stategy with this kid...he s driving himslef crazy over trying to find out other reason as to why he doesn t like the fact Aiden is spending time with Loius...and while doing this he s driving me INSANE! He used to be so honest with himslef, so real... and now I feel like he can t tell apart what he really feels from what he said to himself he feels...I can t do too much, but maybe..._

„Argh...Okay..“ Zayn said while sitting down next to his friend

„It s not okay it s..... “

„Shut up...now listen to me“ Zayn said and he knew he was taking a risk, but hell he was not going through another 5 days of this crazyness and his friend needed a reality-check...He needed to stop living in denial of who he was and if he was no willing to take the truth from him, he will have to take it from himself

„If you don t want Aiden to be there you need to make Louis not want Aiden to be there“

He knew he got Harry s attention coz he was looking at him with doubt in his eyes, ready to protest...

_Okay, I need to be a bit more...more defensive...I m still no on the level of his denial..._

„You are not a fan of that guy correct?“

„A FAN?! he s a douche and ..!“ his friend started but Zayn stopped him

„Okay so you dont want sb you don t like being near your area, correct?“

„Duh...“

_We are getting somewhere ...at least he can t deny his strong dislike for the poor guy_

„Every person you surround yourself with has some role in your life...you just need to find what Aiden s role is , reaplace him in that role and then Louis won t need that guys anymore. Meaning he wont be coming here anymore.“

_Well way to sound wrong, but..._

He studied Harry s face worriedly that maybe Harry sees where Zayn is going with this plane...that maybe he s not as far in denial as he seems...That maybe the genius he knows will make an appearence, but ....

„You.... are a GENIUS! “ Harry exclaimed with a smile and stood up.

He put on his jacket and was heading out in a hurry not even bothering to look back.

„Wait ! WAIT! Where are you going?“ Zayn called after his friend a bit confused .

„Well, to be able to raplace the guy I need to know the guy! So first thigs first going to LouLou for a chit chat !!“

And okay....even tho Zayn was doubting at first whether this wasnt too much of an evil plan...seeing his friend finally smile after so many days and have so much motivation to do something made him sure...And it wasnt the fake smile he was giving to strangers for years..it was the Harry smile.

_I need to make him spend more time with that Louis guy...coz whatever he s doing he s making my friend be finally himself...and God knows I miss my friend._

_ _


	11. Come to a pillowtalk

LOUIS POV

*When you're ready come and get it

When you're ready come and get it

Na na na ! Na na na! Na na na!

When you're re-e-a-dy!  When you're re-e-a-dy!

When you're ready come and get it!

Na na na ! Na NA N-*

Louis was snapped back to reality with the sudden silence, realizing Aiden just turned off the Tv in the room and was looking at him with a serious face.

And it wasn t like he didnt know why Aiden wasn t happy.

They did agree to study together for the upcoming few exams beforehand to be able to have more free time in the future...

The thing was...it was almost a week already.

And Louis found out at the beginning of it that this „study-date“ doesn t mean they study together as in „they help each other“.. it meant= they study in the same room. Which was in no shape or form how he imagined his week to go.

_Locked up in a room with a pressure of being quiet and study at all times...yup ideal week ..._

But Louis just nodded , smiled apologetically and he saw how Aiden s face changed into a warm smile and he went to sit down next to him.

„Lou, I m sorry. I know I m a bit strict, but if we study all of this, we can have an almost free next week and spend it all together “ he said while stroking Lou s hair.

_It actually does make sense...What am I even whining about? He s agreat influence on me, exactly what I need. Plus he s so nice...stroking my hair... yeah mmh. NICE...yup definitely it makes me feel nice...yup not annoyed at all... nice_

That was when Aiden moved away to his reading and Louis involuntarly let out a sigh of relief.

He looked at his book with hate and then opted to rather look at his boyfriend. Aiden was really good-looking, smart and nice...Louis was at this point staring at him not being able to will himself back to study for the who knows which day in a row without any outlet...Praying Aiden would just give up and suggest at least a few minutes of anything, but studying.

Then suddenly there was knocking at the door and Louis coudn t be faster to open it.

 

_Whoever it is....just a moment ...just a moment of something else_

„I m going to open the door! “ he said while Aiden just nodded while making some notes.

S _o responsible, how in the hell does he do it? I m going crazy here..._

While lost in his thoughts he opened the door and a curly boy was waiting for him with a smirk.

Before he coud process what was happening Harry came in.

„Hello, sorry to interrupt just came here coz our TV stopped working and I dont want to miss my show! It s not a problem, is it?“ he asked looking straight into Lou s eyes. And Louis withount being able to control it ...nodded. His body betraying him completely.

Following Harry onto the sofa where the guy sat down while greeting Aiden who seemed a bit confused.

„Lou do I need to go study somewhere else?“ Aiden asked with raised eyebrows.

„Mmm...yeaa...sorry ... I ....yeah... tomorrow?“

_No ..No ..Lous what are you doing ! STOP!_

„Oh okay...if anything just call me“ Aiden said still a bit confused , but too polite to bring the topic up right there. He knew Harry and Louis didn t get along, so this surprise visit was a bit off for him.

„See youu....“ Louis heard himself say and he just wanted to die when he realized that Aiden is actually leaving.

When he heard the bang of his door closing , the sound of TV being turned on, a new song playing

*Pillow talk My enemy, my ally

Prisoners !

Then we're free, it's a thriller*

he knew that something was once again not going according to his plans...it didnt make sense, it was not rational....it was not what he should be doing right now...and that scared the living hell out of him...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the kudos, bookmarks and comments, hope yall have a beautiful summer! :)


	12. I don t want you to see me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ENJOY ! x

It was weird…Sitting next to Harry .

Every second they spent together till now was full of yelling, hate or well other “stuff”. But now they were sitting on a sofa watching Tv for more then 2 hours already.

The show Harry watched already ended and they decided to watch Love Actually since they both discovered they love romantic comedies and have no one to watch them with….yeah weird. Louis coudn t decide what made him more nervous - the fact that he was in his room alone with Harry or the fact that he was alone with Harry and it felt comfortable…it almost felt like they were friends which confused the hell out of him.

_Did I miss something? Do I have amnesia? ...._

_Oh my god I have amnesia!_

_Maybe I just forgot we became friends ….that would make sense. Like in those movies!_

_But what if I don’t have amnesia?_

_IN that case my arch nemesis just barged in to my room and I decided to be like “Hey wanna watch Love Actually?”…that makes me a crazy person doesn’t it?_

_Fuck what if I lost my mind? Is that the effect of studying too hard? Did I lose it?_

Louis stared at the tv pretending to watch the movie, but his thought were a mess. He didn t understand what happened and he d love to just pretend he was still in room with Aiden, but it was hard when Harry was sitting not too far from him. Louis wanted nothing more than to walk away from this room, go to his bedroom and beat his head against the wall.

„So...“ the husky voice of his companion brought him back to reality. But Louis still didn t wan t to look at Harry, something about that idea scared him. Dont misunderstand, Louis hated the douche, but even tho he hated him mentally, his body kinda didnt get the memo so far. But don t worry-pure hatred.

„Mmm...you still pretending I m not here?“ and Louis felt how Harry just got closer to him. Now he smelled him, he felt hi body heat...and it made his heart beat in all the wrong ways.

 

„Look at meee“ and Harry was a bit sharply grabbing his face and turning it towards him

And well yes, it was a good idea to not look at the curly-haired demon before, coz now Louis felt all blood rush into his cheeks and he just wanted to look away, but the green eyes were studying him so deeply,that he just coudn t .

The air was so hot and humind and ... „So what do you usually do with Aiden? “

_What?_

„I..I m sorry what?“ Louis asked in confusion.

Harry just kept on studying him with a mild frown ... „Like...what is his role in your life?“

Louis was getting more and more confused with this conversation.

„mmm...like my boyfriend? “ it was just a second but he felt Harry s hand that was still holding his face tighten the grip and the green eyes became very dark suddenly.

Till now Louis was at least trying to subtly get aways from Harry, but now he felt paralyzed by that look. He went still and let the boy s other hand to grip his hip and bring him closer

_So...so close....so wrong_

_„_ So he basically fucks you? “ Harry basically growled out and Louis felt a shiver run down his spine. He wanted to yell at Harry that  it s none of his business, but something told him that this is not the time so he just shook his head a no.

„So you are telling me he s your boyfriend who doesnt fuck you?“ and he felt one hand on his neck bringing him closer and the other slowly sliding down under his butt.

Their faces were inches apart and he basically felt Harry s hot breath on his face.

„No we just started dating....we don t ...we" that s when the hand finally found its destination and gripped his ass. Louis coudnt stop the moan.

_It is so wrong. I need to swap Harry s hand away..._

So he did it and pushed Harry s hand away trying to slow down his beating hear.

„Interesting, so now that you have that idiot you are no longer a slut...Don t tell me the slut is in love!...“ he heard Harry mocking with angry eyes.

_SLUT_

Louis basically heard it...that **nasty mocking voice** of sb he used to love...adore...sb he wanted to forget, but needed to remember

_You take cock so well Louis, shame that s all you are good for....such a slut!_

Louis was pushing Harry aways with all of his force and he felt hot tears run down his cheeks.

„Go away! Fuck you Harry! Fuck you! “ he said, but it came out sa a whisper. He wanted to yell at Harry, show him  that ...he s strong...he s good now...but the voice was still in his head and he felt nauseas.

Everything was spinning.

Suddenly he felt strong arms around him.

„I m sorry...I dont know why I said that....I didn t mean it...I m so so sorry... “

And as soon as Louis realized that the one embracing him was the green-eyed boy he tried to get out of his grip, but the boy just tightened his hold and kept on trying to calm him down.

„I m an idiot, you are not a slut, I m sorry love,  just let it all out love...“ and Harry was saying it on repat while Louis slowly stopepd trying to get away and cried into the boy s shoulder.

HE cried and cried ...the boy never letting go of him. Whispering sweet nothings to his ear.

 _L_ ouis didnt cry this much for a very long time, he never felt comfortable enough to cry with people.It made him vulnerable, letting them see him in a broken state ...He always thought that it cannot help him and it d only annoy people that care about him...But now after crying his heart out to Harry who was holding onto him for his dear life...Even tho it for sure didn t solve his problems, he did feel a bit mroe at peace...and that was something Louis yearned for so long now.

And Harry was there ...feeling his own eyes get wet , becaue since when did he who cried because of people hurting him , became the person to intentionally hurt others? 

When did his defense mechanism became a knife? 

Since when was he one of them?

And he just held onto Louis so much more, coz he finally saw where the path he wanted to walk was leading him to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and Kudos are my motivation :-)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi lovelies, I m back with a chapter.  
> I m sorry this work is updated so randomly, but I m working on my master s degree and it s tough. But I will complete this story so even if I dont upload regulalry, never worry about me leaving this behind!

Louis POV

 

Louis was in his bed trying to focus on learnig.

His head hurt, his eyes were bloodshot and he felt so mentally and emotionally drained...but he didnt  let himself have a break.

After finally pulling himslef together infront of Harry he asked him to leave.

The guy was looking so guilty about everything, that Louis even know coudn t bring himself to be mad at him.

Yes Harry s words hurt him, but honestly he rarely experienced people hurting him and regretting it. His pain was mostly accompanied at best by indifference.

But Harry acted different than the majority....he hold him so tight and whispered sweet nothings willing the pain away. Louis remembers how hard it was to telling him to leave...but he knew he had to .But even after the green-eyed boy left it felt so diffrent between them and Louis coudnt put a finger on why...

_I guess we will see... whether anything has changed_

He refocused his attention on the book in his hands that d be  part of the exam...but not too much later his attention was brought back to a yelling from across the hall.

 

Harry POV

Harry felt like a twat.

_No I don’t just feel like a twat..I m pretty sure what I said is a definiotin of a twat behaviour._

He was sitting in the kitchen willing himself to drink tea, but not being able to enjoy any part of it, he just felt so guilty…the moment of pure pain on Lou s face replaying itself in his brain for hours now. He wanted to slap himself.

He heard the door open and not much after that he saw Zayn entering the kitchen…but not alone. A tall puppy faced boy following him…

_Was his name Liam? Since when are the two of them friends?_

But honestly Harry didn’t  care much now…he just wanted to be alone with his cuppa.

“Well I went out for a bit with a  friend, this is Liam our neighbour, you have  probably already seen hi-”

It was easy to decide which moment did Zayn actually look at Harry coz his face immediately fell.

 _„_ What happened H? Tell me whose ass should I kick?” and he was already next to him and Liam also made a few steps towards him...but clearly not sure what was the appropriate distance he should keep.

„No, jesus no!  IF you wanna kick anybody s ass kick mine!” Harry shouted and Zayn blinked clearly confused

„Why should I kick your ass? “ his friend asked still a bit upset, but a lot more confused now

„I m a twat“ Harry spat and Zayn...Zayn let out a laugh...Liam stood awkwardly a few steps away from him, not knowing whether to leave or stay.

„Okay you know what? Maybe you are a twat too Zayn!“

„I m sorry...sorry..it s just..you a twat? Harry ...you are one of the nicest people I met! “ he said smiling . The way his friend was clearly not understanding the seriousness of the situation really started to agitate Harry...

„Yeah...I m sorry I forgot that calling people a SLUT  is a really amazing quality!“ he basically yelled, preparing himself to tell the story. Zayn s face immediately changed and he sat down nex to him. „Okay tell me what exactly happened“

„Mm..I m sorry ... I think I should go“ the puppyface guy said slowly retreating.

_But no...he should know...I deserve a good yelling...and who would be better for the job than his friend? God knows Louis should have yelled at me..._

„No stay please...I ..I want you to know“ Harry said and it surprised both of the boys. Liam slowly sa down next to them ..trying to disguise his shock by a polite smile.

So Harry took a breath and...

... told them everyting(well without the almost kissing Lou part..and yeah kinda a shortened version if you will) , from the moment he entered to the moment he told Louis to his face that he is a slut. After he ended the story he patiently waited for Zayn to react ..Liam to yell...but no yelling came.

„H...you said a really REALLY bad thing, but...“ Zayn started

„But what?...what Zayn!“ and Harry really didnt know why...he thought that talking to Zayn d calm him down...but he was just geting more pissed.

„I mean..Harry...you apologized...not once..many times..you regretted what you did and from what you told me it seems Louis forgave you...He let you apologize and hug him. You should of course never let this repeat, but I think you also shoudn t ...shoudnt be depressed over it for the whole night. Just learn from it.“ Zany was talking slowly, cautiously...but it didnt help the boiling anger Harry felt ...

And Liam...Liam made a lot of facial expression throughout the story, but never once said anything...he was frowning...but that was it...

_No yelling...no anger...or a punch to the face...nothing...only frowning..._

Harry stood up ...feeling his blood boiling with a  rare anger, he didn t know even what triggered it but before he could control it he started yelling : „YOU DON T UNDERSTAND ZAYN! I MADE HIM CRY...HE WEEPED IN MY ARMS FOR SUCH A LONG TIME...HE WAS TREMBLING, HIS eyes TOTALLY BLOODSHOT AND HIS FACE SO MUCH PALER...JUST COZ I WAS A TOTAL DICKHEAD!“

The scene replaying itself for the 100th time in his head and it made him so angry with himself. He didnt understand why d he say something like that...and the reaction..it broke his heart ...

Zayn was sitting there looking at him with surprised eyes.  Liam s frown wiped off his face and replaced by  a pure shock...And Harry turned to him.

„AND YOU LIAM !! WHY ARE YOU NOT PUNCHING ME ! I FUCKING DESERVE A PUNCH OR AT LEAST A YELL!! HE IS YOUR FRIEND !!  DO SOMETHING!“

No reactions..nothing...only a sound of the door open and...

„Styles...I m not porcelain doll, i didn t break coz of your comment towards me and I for sure don t need Liam to defend my honor!“

Well that was not a reaction Harry was expecting indeed.

He knew without turning who was talking. He slowly turned ...seeing indeed the blue-eyed boy . With his sassy look, his voice strong...the only signs of  crying were his bloodshot eyes.

„If I d want to kick your ass, I d do it...I dont need Liam nor Zayn to do it for me“  he said now looking into Harry s eyes. His own eyes a lot more lively, but still a bit cloudy.

Harry felt all the anger leave his body...and something warmer replace it...Louis standing there tried to look so tough, but the tough attitude just made Harry want to cuddle up the boy more....to wrap him up in a hug and protect him...

_WOOooooH...stop! NO! ABORT!_

„I m sorry“ Harry said instead, keeping the eye-contact „What i said was stupid&untrue“

„You already apologized, and as your friend said..I did forgive you..just...dont repeat it please“ Louis said while the last words sounded like a whisper. „We are neighbours, I dont wanna hold grudges“

„I swear I won t ! I promise...and I m gonna keep it...not only as your neighbour, but...as your firends if you d take me“ Harry heared himself say and well his mouth didnt really discuss this with his brain...but as soon as he saw a small smile creep itself on Lou s face he didnt care about any communication with his brain...he felt too warm to care.

„I m gonna hold you to that promise....friend“

And if Liam was watching them worriedly... If Zayn was looking at him knowingly .... ...it all didn t matter coz Lou was smiling at him and he felt himself smile back...and after a long time the smile felt natural and real ...it felt like his smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not so sure about this chapter, I hope you enjoyed... it wrote itself basically I m just not sure whether it wrote itself good  
> Also please dont hold back any comments, I love reading and replaing to them  
> also- you dont need to bookmark this, but honestly my updates will probably never be regular so if you don t wanna miss an update bookmark..since i really can t make regular updates  
> Anyway, thanks for reading and have a lovely day/night!


	14. I wish you could see

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dedicated to CindywithanS , thanks for the lovely comment ! Hopefully this upade makes you happy :)  
> (p.s- bbcan?)

Louis POV

It has been a very weird and tiring month for Louis. He spent it studying with Aiden & in his free time he was hangining out with Liam, Zayn&...well Harry and a new guy Niall.

As it turned out Liam and Zayn met in a library and instantly became friends.

It was weird for Louis and Harry at first, in spite of claiming to start working on being friends, they weren t really sure where to start, but thanks to Ziam

(as they secretely called them) hanging out together became natural and easy.

Heck Louis d even go as far as saying he d miss Harry if they weren t hanging out.

Then 2 weeks ago they met a blond loud irish guy...or better he approached them with the weirdest opening line ever on the corrider

„I m starving, guys do you have like something to eat ?“ and Liam being Liam „Mm yeah I cooked some pasta we have it in our room“

And that how they basically adopted Niall, who as they found out later was majoring in music.

Today there was supposed to be a meet up for the fisrt time in Niall s room(and Liam and Zayn had the responsibility to take as much food as they could), but today they weren t planning anything major just a small movie marathon since all of them were pretty beaten up by the exam period.

But maybe the fact that it was their first proper movie marathon made Louis so happy.

_I can t wait ! We will watch Grease ! I just need to convince Harry, otherwise it will be a Toy story marathon...and that....ughghh...freaking scary toys.. „Oh I have an idea! Let s make a cartoon about toys that will be living in kid s rooms watching them 24/7 able to creep on them and kill them any time they want!“ Heck I swear some of horror movies creep me out less..._

„Earth to Lou! Louuu!“ Louis finally registered the voice . Aiden s voice with a slight frown on his face.

„Oh...sorry i was just daydreaming a bit..“ Lou admitted guitily, but his eyes still searched for a clock...

_7:48...not much more 8:00 the movie marathon starts..fuck I m horrid_

_„_ No worries ...“ Aiden answered and carressed his cheek „I know how to get back your attention“ he said while leaning in.

And Louis really wanted to feel happy about their relationship becoming more touchy and personal, but ...evne right now feeling Aiden s lips on his own.

_Why does it feel wrong? So forced?_

And while tryingto detect why is it so wrong it happened again...Aiden was suddenly on top of him sucking on his neck .

This was happening for a about a week now..every day d Aiden try to go further and every day d Louis push him away gently....feeling more and more shit everytime. The fisrt time he told Aiden he was not comfortable to have sex...

...but Aiden brushed him off with „we don t have to...i m not putting it in, but a hook up here or there and if it happens it happens , in the end i m your boyfried right?“

He felt a hand on his crotch and heck he was totally soft, why was Aiden not getting the message from that?

But it actually seemed like the boy took it as a challenge and started taking off Lou s trousers.

„Aiden wait...“ Lou heared himself say

„It s okay Lou, don t worry“

„I m not worried, just not comfortab-“ and there was hand on his mouth which...what?

„You are taking me out of the zone, just enoy, I m not making you suck me...just accept my services“ and his voice was sweet and soft, but it kinda sent shivers through Louis..in a bad way.

Just when he was ready to basically kick Aiden in a face the door opened.

„Loubear we are gonna start without you...what are you...“ and it was Harry.

_I d think of some sassy remark but...thank all Gods for Harry._

And Louis was standing up and putting on his pants.

„Mmm yeah I m going ...mm sorry Aiden I have to go...“

And he bascialy speedwaked out of the room , hearing a sharp „have fun“

Harry followed him out a combination of shock and...well somehting else written all over his face.

„I m sorry if I interrupted“ and the way he said it made Louis stop in his tracks coz he knew that voice. He didn t hear it for a good month, but he knew it. It was the voice of the cocky bastard who wasn t his Harry.

_My Harry...? No, like not mine.. no way mine...if I had a Harry I m  prety sure I knew it...that soudns like having a child..and HA!_

Well I am pretty sure  I m not pregnant unless my ass is magical which...possible?

„Although I agree with the magical part, why are you talking about being pregnant? “  Harry asked and his face a bit more bright, with an annoying smile on it.

Louis instatnly paled which made Harry burst in laughter.

„Geez bear you are such a weirdo!“ harry said with such a fondness in his eyes that Louis almost..almost wanted to give him this argument.

„Dont lie to yourself, you love me! “ he stated with a proud smile.

„Well who woudn t  love your magical children bearing ass LouLou?  OR should I call you MAMAbear now?“ and Harry literally lost it on his own joke leaving Louis flabbergasted.

 They were almost at Niall s when Harry stopped laughing and turned to Lou

„No sorry, really...it didnt sound genuine, but I m sory if I interrupted, I should have knocked.“ He said trying to put in a smile, that didnt reach his eyes.

„No Harry, it  s okay, actually I thanked God when I saw you come in“ he whispered.

Harry frowned and Louis slowly sped up, not wanting to think about his realtionship...

_As usual...complaining about my realtionships...so pathethic, no surprise Aiden only cares about sex, in the end what else am I good for?_

„No, Boo wait what do you mean?“ stopping him in front of Niall s door.

„Harry, it s nothing...You know me, I m dramatic, I m making a big deal out of my boyfriend wanting sex with me, when I should be thankful and happy he wants me...I mean, I should give him back somehtig too, I think“ Louis ended not looking Harry in the eyes pushing the door open.

Louis didn t meet Harry s eyes when he said it ..so he didnt realize.

He didnt realize the pure horror in Harry s eyes when he heared that line.

 

_ _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again thanks to everyone who comments/gives kudos, it really makes me happy and motivates me to update :)


End file.
